is before tomorrow...

 

i'm feeling woozy..

 

methinks its time to go to bed 

 

bleh... 

for the past seven days i have been in the spring of emotion. i have kept on bouncing in and out of feelings and desires i never thought i was capable of.

    last friday, i cut this one class which i wasn't supposed to cut to have a heart-to-heart in depth conversation with a very dear friend of mine. well, he's a self-confessed romantic despite his notorious reputation. and i nevr thought that he was THAT romantic. for a literature major, i should've expected it. poets are melancholy people. and somehow, i felt the depression he was going through. a love lost and found over and over again hardens his heart of understanding.
    yet no matter how hard he tries to conceal  it, his true self struggles to keep itself in place. why? as what he said, pure love is the reason.

*****

    today i felt the most woderful feeling that i've felt for the past three days. today, i found out how much i meant to him. and i think i mean more than i i think i mean to him.
    i know it's a crime in a relationship to doubt but i have to admit. i have doubted him a million times more than necessary or even possible. it's probably because i have come from a hurtfully failed relationship before we got together. another thing is sometimes he becomes too naive. and yet, he jsut made me realize how much he appreciates me. he jsut made me realie how much he loves me. he just made me realize how much i mean to him. probably i was wallowing too much in my insecurities and fears that someday IT would come. but as he is true to his word, he has kept what he was meanign to keep all along. and i am glad. i am so glad...

*****

    okay so the last two weeks of class is like hell. i have ..natsci.. math.. computer.. marketing..     filipino.. theology.. six projects/assignments/reports to finish within those two weeks. not to mention that one of them is an ad. and i am freaking like hell. geez! all the school stuff is getting to me.

*****

so much for a day and time to spend. i think i better....zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

life is weird.....

agree?

K	Kinky
I	Ideal
M	Mesmerizing

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From Go-Quiz.com

Is it wrong to sometimes think? Is it wrong to sometimes ponder on events that are definitely relevant to you? Is it wrong to care for yourself when you really have to?

Why does torment have to tail you down to almost everywhere? Isn’t peace of mind permitted at all in this world?

If there is such a thing as salvation, then why must suffering be at haste? If there is such a thing called love, then why must this be endured? Is pain necessary to everyday life?

Why must there be pain? Why must there be agony? Why must asylums exist? Why? Why must it be me?

Why must the sun stop shining? Why must the rain stay? Do I not deserve sanctuary and refuge every once in a while? Why?

Why must i suffer the loneliness of bliss? Why must I endure the pain of loving you? Why must I endure this longing for you?

Why can't I have you?

it has been a while since i last posted something in here. i missed expressing myself. i'm just snatching my sister's net time here. i'm pissed because she still hasn't gone home since she went to work yesterday. my parents are pissed more than ever.

now, today, i have done so much thinking about things: the past, the present and what the future may possible bring to me. i have encountered so much. i have been waiting for the day that i would pass on. so much for tomorrow. so mch for today.

true enough i am fed up with all the nonsense i have been doing all my life. im fed up with all the shit ive been busy with. it's about time that i come to my senses and get serious.

right or wrong?

gone to school, quit my band, studied very hard, hung out with my friends, done a lotta stuff. oh well, i just want to die now.

yet i find simple joy in the people that try their very best to make me smile. just their very best would make me happy. i find enough joy and satisfaction...

i just love my friends... and christopher for that matter...